It was 9 p.m. during the winter season. So, I prayed Ishaa (the last obligatory prayer of the day) and went on a study spree. My PhD researches were consuming a lot of my time but it was all worth it. I hope my thesis on the HIV drug I am working on shatters the floor and leave the committee speechless.

Anyways, as I was studying, I decided to have a word with Homayra (also known as Homie) before sleeping on it. I searched for her number in my phone and dialed her number instead of walking to her room. Laziness at its pinnacle!

“Hey, can you come to my room please?”

“Sure.” She replied.
A few minutes later, she knocked at my door.

“Come in.” I said.

She came in, and I told her to sit next to me on my bed. So I started, “Do you have an expelling wish?” I asked still trying to wrap my head around her leading disaster.

“No.” She replied bluntly. She honestly did not have a clue.

“I mean you promise me that you would look after the girls and look what happened.”

“Jeez, relax!” She said. “I joined this group to have a family that does not judge me. So, don’t start.”

“Please don’t use that j-word, it is not appropriate for a Muslim like yourself.”

“And you are telling how to talk now? Omg, you are so overbearing and perfect! You micro-manage everything around here! Come on Rokeeya, just relax a little bit!”

“I am not going to relax because I do not want a bad reputation for the group or myself.”

“Ain’t you Miss. Perfect over here?” She roared intensely.

“No, I am not perfect Homie! It is very degrading to see sisters that wear or do not wear the veil strut themselves openly and engage in blamable behavior like you guys did this weekend. You think boys keep secrets to themselves. No, they don’t! They share with their friends and the next time you are amongst them, they giggle when they look at you! Be careful! Have some honor and dignity.” I pleaded.

“How do you know?” She asked with an unsure look.

“Because I have seen it many times.” I replied sadly.

“Hum…” That is all she said and left my room.

“Way to have manners! Unbelievable!” I let out exasperated.

I should have seen the next morning come up. I was blindsided. In fact, the way that hot head of Homie left my room last night should have made me realize that something was up. As I was walking the streets of the campus, I came across my pictures pre-Islam glued all over the University town. I started pulling the pictures down but there so many of them, and I could not do it alone. I panicked.

My reputation was garbage now with pictures of me wearing the skankiest clothes ever are all over the university. I prayed that Allah spare the sisterhood from slander. I guess I am taking the hit instead. I recited the surah 2 verse 156. Then I called Fatou. She was genuinely sorry.

“Don’t worry, I will come down right now, and we will find a way to deal with it insha Allah.” She said hopeful.
I hung up and got busy removing the pictures of me I could spot.

“I knew you had a streak of freaky in you!” Aaron laughed behind me.

“This is not funny! I have long repented from my sins.” I replied with a sullen look.

“I am sorry about that.” Aaron said after realizing that he hit below the belt. Then, he accrued, “do you need help?”

“I am fine.” I actually needed help but I did not want to admit to it. Saved by the bell! Fatou showed up at the same time.

“Fatou and I can handle it.” I said hoping that she backed me up.

“No Rokeeya, this is way too much. Who could have done that?” She asked.

“I am sure Homie knows.” I barked.

“Don’t throw accusations in the air.” Fatou reminded me.

“Ladies, I can have my brothers help us remove all these scandalous pictures.” Aaron jumped in the conversation.

“That is a great idea.” Fatou interjected.

“No way!” I retaliated.

“You don’t have a choice. And my guess is that they have already seen your pictures or heard about them.” Aaron dropped some reality words on me.

“Fine call them.” I gave up.
He gawked at me for a while and got busy. A few hours later, my posters were gone from the face of the university.

“Please say thank you to your brothers for me.” I asked him before heading to the sisterhood’s house. I was mentally and physically exhausted. On the way home, a few boys whistled at me. I rolled my eyes and thought: Great! I guess I am going to wear a niqab now to stop the unwanted attention.
Back at the house, Homie was waiting for me in the living room.

“Liked the display of your past life on the walls?” She asked me wickedly.

“Your doing?” I asked.

“Of course it is. It was very easy to do. I just googled your name, and there were everywhere.” She admitted with a grin. Unbelievable! She did not even deny it.
So I got in her face, stared coldly at her, and said, “You think this is going to shake me? It just makes me stronger. I forgave you for your acts over the weekends but you go and do this to me. That is very low and shady! And coming from my own sister, it is very disappointing.”

“Well, I thought to myself: I will either be kicked out or have her kicked out.” Homie antagonized me further.

“You are a psychopath! I was not even planning to have your badge removed.”

She felt stupid then.

“Oh I am so sorry. That was very spiteful.”

“Ya think?” I asked in a pseudo-incredulous tone.

“Excuse me, I need to take of these ‘cockroaches’ of the internet.” I let out disappointed and crushed. Then, frustrated, I roughly bumped my shoulder to hers before disappearing behind her.
I emailed Google, Bing, etc. to take any pictures (covered or not) of me down. It was a ‘fun” process.

Later that night, Aaron texted me.

Aaron *Hey, you are very beautiful. But I did not need to see uncovered pictures of you to know that. Aaron.*

Me *Where did you get my number? And thank you for the compliment.* I blushed at his words.

Aaron *I have my sources and that is my business ;).*

Me *Touché! What’s up?*

Aaron *Bellissima…*

Me* La bellaza would be more appropriate. I am not Italian, lol! Anyways, I don’t mean to burst your bubble but you and me can’t happen.*

Aaron *Because I am not Muslim? That is wildly unfair.*

Me *It is not. I am not encouraging your feelings because it goes against my belief. I worship Allah and not feelings or love for that matter.”

Aaron * Very deep. This is not over. I want to learn about your religion.*

Me * Stop by the MSA (Muslim Student Association)’s office, they can help you 😉 *

Aaron * Will do.*

Me * Talk to you another time.* I replied and smiled. There was something about him I could not quite explain or understand yet.



Papatia Feauxzar
Author of “Between Sisters, SVP” Novel

“The Hazardous Life of Nilüfer” Upcoming novel
“The Dream” Upcoming novel
“Freedom Fighter” Short story
“Fixed Up!” Short story
“Change of Shoes” Short story


Why should I stop listening to music?

The hadith of the prophet says; Those that will give up music in this world Allah will call them to one side on the
day of judgement and Allah will say;

“where are those who loved music but for my sake subdued and controlled
themselves, where are those that loved beautiful music but for my pleasure did not listen?”

And Allah will command, “Seperate them”. They will then be seperated and Allah will reward them.

Don’t you want to be in this group of people?

Music In The Mosque

If it was said a long time ago that music will be played in the mosque, everyone would have laughed and said it can never happen. But today it is happening. Even in jumat prayer some phones start ringing, and their ringtone is one of their favourite music! Subhannalah!!! In the mosque of Allah! Anyone who does this should be aware that firstly music isn’t allowed in islam, no matter the message it sends because music is the voice of the devil.
Devil pleaded with God to grant him respite, to allow him decieve man, and one of devil’s instrument for deceit is music. Some claim music sooth their heart and give them inspiration and gives them a peace of mind. Those who consume alcohol, don’t they claim that when they are depressed alcohol is the solution, they drink and feel slight relief, but the aftermath of it is always misery, and that is the same with music. Do dikhr(remembrance of Allah), ponder over it, or read the quran and insha Allah you will feel relief and your depression will vanish.

Please brothers and sisters, stop listening to music, for your sake, please. May Allah assist you in overcoming it.

Almighty Allah’s Words.

Surah Al-Anfaal : 50-52ِ

And if you could but see when the angels take the souls of those who disbelieved… They are striking their faces and their backs and [saying], “Taste the punishment of the Burning Fire.

That is for what your hands have put forth [of evil] and because Allah is not ever unjust to His servants.”

[Theirs is] like the custom of the people of Pharaoh and of those before them. They disbelieved in the signs of Allah, so Allah seized them for their sins. Indeed, Allah is Powerful and severe in penalty.




Sometimes i don’t even know how i feel,

It feels like the mountain have been mounted upon me,

the views are becoming blurring,

My heart keeps melting every night
as these problems accumulate in 4 letters, “Lost”

My life is a puzzle,
i need someone to break it down,

My heart is fragile,
be careful how you handle me,
My words are becoming empty,
please understand how i feel,

i look minor when i stare in the mirror,
you can hardly tell cause this pain feast on my soul
It hurts me, it bite’s me, it consumes me

i only look up to the provider,


as i wait for directions,

My heart keeps crashing,
when those memories trigger my emotion,

i need someone to believe in me,
Someone who won’t judge me by my mistakes & errors,

These tears won’t let me think straight,
If you are to count my tears in numbers and figures ,
you would probably be going to a million

My head keeps running in circles,
i need directions to the finish line
Truly lost am i in a huge world,
Every step forward looks like I’m on reverse,
i need to look ahead this obstacles in other to revive myself,

You think you know how i feel?
How about been shot 55times without bleeding?
Apparently that’s how i feel,

My future may be shining ,
But i have to trace the light,
in order not to be caught in darkness

You all said you were gonna be here,
i trusted you,
Yet again I’m here all alone with my shadow,


When i cry i bleed,
When i bleed i pen,
Life kicks me like a ball,
Plays me like a tennis,
Takes me up & down like a roller coaster,

The curtain maybe closing on me,
but there is a brighter day above this walls,

Every night is a stormy night,
as these tears form a deep ocean
enough to drown a fast boat,

The past i will never forget,
Tomorrow i look forward to,
Life is but a moment,
i can’t keep wallowing sentimentally to this statement of expression,
Cause my intention has always been my reaction,

i am running out of ink,
i think life is becoming so cruel everyday,
i will continue to pen these words,
till i know exactly how i feel,
I’m going back to the start,
to the guidance of Allah.

By Abdulkadir jnr.

How to get close to Allah.


How to get close to Allah?
• Start off each day with the waking up supplications,
thanking Allah for waking up in good shape.
• Put Allah first in your life.
• Broaden your horizons – learn 5 new verses from the Holy
Qur’an every day, take up a booklet having supplications
and read them.
• If someone says something mean to you, just shrug it off
and dismiss it in a friendly, laid-back manner, and pray
that Allah shall forgive him.
• When you get angry, remember Allah, and think how
short and worthless life is to waste in being angry.
• Remember that you can never have too many friends, but
you can have few quality friends that help you fulfil the
purpose of your creation (i.e. live for Allah).
• When you’re happy, try to share your happiness with
others. Thank Allah for that, and pray for its continuation.
• When something bad or embarrassing happens to you,
just think that it could always be worse, remember the
reward of patience, and thank Allah that it’s not worse than
it is.
• Do something extra of goodness once in a while, like
feeding a poor person, or caressing an orphan’s head.
• Never stop believing that you can win Allah’s love and
thus work for it. Then you can win the love of Allah’s
• Spend some time thinking of Allah’s amazing creation.
• Always love those who love Allah unconditionally . This
way you will ensure that you live for Him, love for Him, and
hate for Him (those who are enemies of Him).
• Find the righteous ways to express yourself, and if you
think that what you are about to say shall cause no benefit,
maintain silence.
• Every now and then, give yourself a break. Give time to
your family and friends, but always remember Allah and
watch that He is watching you.
• Pray for blessing to come to those who are lost, and pray
to Allah to guide them to the true path.
• Hug your parents, kiss their hands and heads and always
obey them except when they order to disobey Allah.
• Smile to everyone, for your smile makes a big difference
to him or her and you are rewarded.
• Forgive, forget and smile.
• Tears are not for women only… tears are for all human
beings with feelings remaining in them. Don’t restrain your
tears when remembering Allah.
• When people criticize your actions and effort, revise your
actions and see if they please Allah or not. If they do; then
ignore and remember how the Noble Prophet (peace be
upon him) and the Sahabah (Allah be pleased with them)
were criticized, made fun of and even physically harmed,
so have patience.
• Read the Holy Qur’an daily and try to have a schedule for
completing it as much as you could. As you open the Holy
Qur’an daily, read with attention not just passing your eyes
through the words.
• Don’t let popularity go to your head, for it never lasts
and you may lose from it more than gain.
• Never look down on anybody, for, to Allah, they may be
better than you.
• Convey this to all Muslims with the intention of having a
healthy society living for Allah and pray:”Invite all to the
way of your Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching, and
argue with them in ways that are best and most
gracious.”(Qur’an, 16:125)
• Plz Share •

Life Is A Beautiful Puzzle.


“There are many pieces that make up our lives: Moments
that break us. Moments that raise and shape us. Decisions
we make to hold on. Or let go. People who enter our lives
and leave us changed forever. The ones we love, the ones
that hurt us, or heal us, or leave us. Sometimes we don’t
understand these pieces—or even despair over them. It’s
only when time goes by and we look back, that we suddenly
can see our whole life like a perfectly designed puzzle.
Don’t be afraid of the puzzle piece you’re in now. It will fit
perfectly…just like the rest. How could it not? The Designer
is perfect!”